I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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