omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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