batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
