its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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