I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
