I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
