i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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