I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just had sex on a roof
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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