nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
