please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
