is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
