i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
