For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
