Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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