and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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