Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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