I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
