Do vagina's smell?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
