I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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