I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
