You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize