Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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