I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
