I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize