My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
