The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
