ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
