should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
