Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
