yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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