I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
