It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
