Can Purell be used as lube?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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