he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
