i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
