official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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