im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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