I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
