All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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