just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
