I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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