do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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