ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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