You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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