i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
