Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
