singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
