we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Every concussion has its silver lining
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
