I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
