Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize