everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
