somebody snuck up and got me drunk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
