Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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