Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
