p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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