I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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