Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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